I’ve just stirred from sleep, still lying in bed.
I’m aware, but not fully awake. Conscious, but still trying to gather my surroundings as I feel her stir next to me. She’s warm and soft. And fits perfectly into the little spoon position. So perfect it’s as if she was made just to sleep there next to me for eternity. Every morning, I wake up and take a moment to just watch her, in awe and appreciation. I can’t help but to feel a wave of happiness consume me. She looks so peaceful in this moment. Like all is right in the world.
I brush my hand along her face, and her eyes flutter open to meet mine. Our gazes lock and we share a moment in time that means more to both of us than every other moment in our day. This moment we are safe. This moment we are warm and loved and cared for. This moment is our peace, our safe place, our base. It’s what gets us through the day and reminds us we have each other to lean on.
I break her sleepy gaze and kiss her gently on the head. I’ve never felt so much love for anyone or anything before. I just want to keep her safe, locked in this moment. In this little bubble of time where we’re both warm and happy. She closes her eyes and seemingly drifts off back to sleep. Content and relaxed. She never has to worry again when she’s with me. I whisper softly in her ear “I love you, Evey Baby” Barely audible to anyone but her. She’s snoring gently, but she hears me. She doesn’t budge, but ever so slightly, she wags her tail. I whisper again… “Evey Babyyy… I love youuuu.” Another little tail wag, this time just the teeniest bit more pronounced. ” Eveyyyy…I love you, I love you, I love you” I softly repeat over and over. Watching her little tail go from soft and gently swaying to enthusiastically and purposefully wagging from side to side.
Finally, she opens her eyes wide and yawns, letting out a little squeak at the end. My heart melts. Defenses crumbled, I am but putty in her paws. As she somehow finds a way to snuggle tighter, warmer, and covers my face with her tongue, I can’t help but to wonder how we got here, so far from where we started. All I did was fall in love. All I did was show her. It seems so simple. So small. So easy. I don’t understand how she lived her whole life before me without it. She is so incredibly easy to love. And she has so much of it to give. It seems impossible to not love her and not want to protect her, keep her safe.
In the year since I’ve adopted Evey, her love has changed my life so much. And judging by the way her fear has melted away, mine has changed hers. We’ve become this incredible team of two broken, anxious, and fearful halves that together create one confident, fearless whole. She inspires me and makes me feel centered. She knows my every mood and predicts the exact moment I need a gentle nudge to step back and keep from going over the edge. It’s like we were made for each other. Though I say I rescued her, it’s more truthful that she rescued me. I didn’t even know what I was looking for when I met Evey. I was just as broken and uncertain about my future as she was. But she changed all of that in an instant. I took one look at her and just knew she was the one for me. Here we are, a little over a year later and my path is secure, my family is complete, my heart is whole again.
It amazing to me, the strength of the bond that we share.
We don’t even speak the same language, yet we communicate in such a way, words aren’t even needed. So much is said between us with just a look. Just like in this moment each morning. But I still can’t help wondering how I got so lucky. These questions always race through my mind. Does she feel the same way? In my heart, I know, she knows I love her. I know, she knows I will protect her. She knows she’s home, she’s safe, and she is loved. But does she know how much? Does she know she’s my world? My missing piece? My soulmate?
I’m sure those are questions I may never have a straight answer to. But in this treasured morning moment, before my husband wakes up, before Evey’s big brother Malcom climbs on the bed to bark out his breakfast demands, I don’t really need one. As I wrap her up tighter in my arms, she closes her eyes and goes back to sleep. Then she sighs. A sound that speaks volumes about the peace she feels here in my arms. That’s all I need. In a world that can be as scary as ours, from a dog who has felt the cruel hand of mankind, she sighs and sleeps peacefully, deeply, dreaming and snoring away. This quiet morning moment, tells me everything I need to know.